1 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:08,960 Whoa! 2 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,160 That's 14 minutes till your fucking bus, Reece. 3 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:12,960 Bang out of order! 4 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:14,960 Four shouts water rule! 5 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,960 What if I stay in bed now? What's the five shouts rule? 6 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,320 Fucking fire! 7 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,960 How am I supposed to go to school if I don't even have my uniform?! 8 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,960 I put it next to your fucking bed, Reece! 9 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,960 Oh. Thanks, Mum. 10 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,960 You're fucking welcome. 11 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:39,960 Go on. Oh, wait. 12 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,160 You forgot my kiss. 13 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,480 Hang on, what? We don't even do that. 14 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,960 You were gonna though, weren't you? Soft shite! 15 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,960 No, I weren't. You're off you head, you, you know. 16 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,800 Come here. Mwah! 17 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:52,960 Have a good day. Love you. 18 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,800 Love you. 19 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,960 MUSIC: 'Don't Sweat The Technique' by Eric B and Rakim 20 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,640 Oh, my God. 21 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,480 What's that? 22 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:07,960 Morning, Pat, lad. 23 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,800 24 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:18,960 25 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,960 And check the file 26 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:31,960 To detect the style 27 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,960 So they can't get foul 28 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,960 It'll take a while 29 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,160 To complete the beat 30 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,960 Till MCs get weak... 31 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,960 Oh, there he is. Come on, lad! What's happening? 32 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,160 See you soon. 33 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,960 CHEERING 34 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,960 Made it on the bus. 35 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,960 LAUGHTER 36 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,960 Then I play for keeps 37 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,960 38 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,960 That's a tough one. Mm. 39 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:08,960 Mike Woodworth's. 40 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,960 Yeah, how'd you get that? 41 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,960 Kinda looks like him. LAUGHTER 42 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,480 You got 12 out of 15, girl. Go 'ead. LAUGHTER 43 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:19,960 What are you gonna do with them? 44 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,960 It's ammunition, innit? If they ever wind me up, 45 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,960 then I'm putting their tiny cocks on the Year 11 group chat. 46 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,960 LAUGHTER But if I'm just starving, 47 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,960 like today, I actually forgot to have my breakfast. 48 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,960 So I threatened Sevo unless he got me these. 49 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,960 LAUGHTER 50 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:34,960 Lads are so thick. Hm. 51 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,960 You ask, and they send within seconds. 52 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,960 We could make our own version of Guess Who? 53 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:43,960 Has your cock got FIFA in the background? 54 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,480 Hmm, has your cock got a wide base but a narrow head? 55 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,960 LAUGHTER 56 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:53,960 Hey, speaking of bell ends, who's this? 57 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,960 Looks like he's just tested positive 58 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,960 for defo getting his head caved in today. 59 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,800 That's that posh muppet from earlier. 60 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,960 Eh? 61 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,800 Dickhead. 62 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,160 Ooh! You're in trouble! 63 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,960 That was dead funny, yesterday. 64 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,960 Reckon she'll snitch, though? Nah. 65 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,960 Chinese people don't grass, lad. It's not part of the culture. 66 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,960 What I really need to know, Reece, is was it racially motivated? 67 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,960 YOU'RE racially motivated, lad. 68 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:27,960 The mouse was in Li Wei's pencil case. 69 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,960 Li Hua is in 11E. 70 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,960 So let's say we forget about all this expelling silliness, 71 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,320 and I'll say nothing to no-one about you being... 72 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,960 WHISPERS: ..the top dog for the Ku Klux Klan Woolton branch. 73 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,800 Sit down, Reece. 74 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,960 I get it. Practical jokes can be funny. 75 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,960 A friend of mine found images of me and his wife on my computer. 76 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,960 He was convinced that they were real, 77 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,960 but they were just photoshops. 78 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,960 Very real-looking photoshops. 79 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,000 Anyway, Reece, 80 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,960 this has been a continual pattern of poor behaviour, 81 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,480 and I can't ignore the complaints of the East Asian Society. 82 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:05,960 You what? 83 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,640 She's not even Asian! 84 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,960 We cannot, and we will not, stand by 85 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,960 while toxic western men like Reece Duffy 86 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,960 exhibit abhorrent behaviour aimed at our community. 87 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:20,800 SPEAKS MANDARIN 88 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,640 You gave me no choice, Reece. I've already informed your mother. 89 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,960 'You're gonna answer my FaceTime! 90 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,960 'Expelled? 91 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,960 'Are you fucking serious, gobshite?! 92 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,960 'You know, I've always thought I was doing a good job with you. 93 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,000 'I was determined I wasn't gonna let you be affected 94 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,480 'by your dad not being around, and with this, 95 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,960 'you're making me question whether I've been a good mother at all.' 96 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,960 Isn't it funny how we're mates, 97 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,960 but if your mum would let me bury my face in her arse, 98 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,960 I would without hesitation? 99 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,000 Isn't that weird? 100 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,960 I've never really thought about it, mate. 101 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,960 Would we really not be mates anymore? 102 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:00,960 We'd get through it. 103 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:01,960 I suppose, yeah, but... 104 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,480 I doubt you'd ever come round for tea again, though. 105 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,960 Nah. See, now, that's a problem, 106 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,960 cos your ma makes a sick pork casserole. 107 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,800 Oh, I'm gonna have to rethink. 108 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,320 All right, Wigbert, lad. All right, fucking Barnaby, lad. 109 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,960 Fucking Norman, lad. 110 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,960 Fucking Npeter with a silent "N" at the start. 111 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,320 Let me guess, then. 112 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,960 What, your sisters have hyphenated names 113 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,960 to try and sound posher? Like Ruby-Mae or Louise-Rose? 114 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,160 Ted, how does he know your little sister's name? 115 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,960 You'll get pasted, lad. 116 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,960 Wait, I need him. Paste him later. 117 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:42,960 Agree to everything I say to Mr Meacher. Yeah? 118 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,960 So, let me get this straight, Reece. 119 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,960 You are offering to look after Christopher here 120 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,960 as a kind of last chance saloon? 121 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,960 Well, I feel for him, being new. 122 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,000 Look at the state of him. 123 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,960 He looks so posh, like he doesn't just play rugby, 124 00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,960 but he plays it with Prince William 125 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,960 constantly bumming him around the pitch. 126 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,960 I know that I can't do great things, 127 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,160 but I can do small things, 128 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,480 and if we all do small things, 129 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,960 then together we can do a great thing, 130 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,960 like Uncle Dale... 131 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:19,960 ..and turn it around. 132 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,640 OK, Reece, then report back here on Friday at 9am. 133 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,960 If I'm happy and Christopher's happy, 134 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,960 we'll discuss you staying here. 135 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,960 Close the door on the way out. 136 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:41,640 So, what did we think of the character of Mr Darcy 137 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,960 at the beginning of the story? 138 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,960 Why are you worried about what we think about Mr Darcy, sir, 139 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,960 when our Lizzie is the sound one here 140 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:48,960 but nobody cares about her? 141 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,960 Do you not care about women, sir? Your wife left you 142 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,960 and now you hate women, sir? I'm not married or have been. 143 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,960 You're about 40 and never been married? 144 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:57,960 It's a bit dodgy, that, sir. 145 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,320 Unless you think you're too good for women, sir? 146 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,960 Think you're all that, do you, sir? Like all men do. 147 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,960 LAUGHTER 148 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,960 Erm, Con, are you messing? 149 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,000 I tricked you into sending me nudes 150 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,480 cos you thought I was gonna send you one back. 151 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,960 Even after the 50th nude, you still didn't click on. 152 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:13,960 Fifty, though? 153 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,960 Did you not think this ain't happening? 154 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,960 I thought a fresh angle might win her over. 155 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,960 And Reece, you defo think you're all that. 156 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,960 Didn't stop you from kissing us, though. 157 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,960 I was drunk. You'd only had one drink, though. 158 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,960 It was two years ago. You were fitter then. 159 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,960 Paedo, then. 160 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:28,960 OK, that's... that's enough. 161 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,960 So, Mr Darcy. 162 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,160 Nah, Mum. 163 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,960 Come on, I'll call social services and tell them you're starving me. 164 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,960 I've already spoken to them. I told them what you did. 165 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,960 They said to starve the little fucker. 166 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,960 I've got a plan. 167 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,320 I've agreed with Meachie to mentor this new kid. 168 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,960 Who the fuck are they gonna let you mentor? 169 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,960 Him there. 170 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,960 What, him, the lanky one? 171 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,960 Hiya, excuse me, hi. 172 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:56,960 Yeah, you. 173 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,960 Is our Reece mentoring you? 174 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,960 Er... er... 175 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,960 Oh, has he got a disability? 176 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,960 Is that why you've gotta mentor him? 177 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,960 No, Mum. 178 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,960 Oi, hiya, yeah, hiya. 179 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:10,960 Are you depressed?! 180 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,320 Is that why you're sat on your own? LAUGHTER 181 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,960 What's he going red for? 182 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,960 Oi, you wet fart! I asked you a question! 183 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,960 LAUGHTER 184 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,960 Good luck with mentoring that one. He's got no fucking manners. 185 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,960 Trust me, it's gonna work. 186 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,960 KNOCK AT WINDOW 187 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,960 HE MOUTHS 188 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,320 What the hell are you doing here? 189 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,960 I'm just helping you settle in. I don't need any help settling in. 190 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,960 KNOCK AT DOOR Christopher? 191 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,960 Some Viennetta, love. We don't always slum it here, you know. 192 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,960 Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were entertaining a guest. 193 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,960 I'll leave you two, to er, get to know each other. 194 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,160 Why did you take your shirt off? 195 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,960 Thought it'd be funny to make her think we're shagging. Christopher? 196 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,960 Would you like some juice? 197 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,960 Sorry, Pat, it's just Chrissy keeps insisting 198 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,960 I'll be more comfortable if I take my trousers off. 199 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,960 I don't get it. I'm not hot. 200 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,960 I didn't ask him to... We're not... 201 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,960 Chrissy, it's OK. Don't be embarrassed. 202 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:28,960 "The truth shall set you free." The Bible. 203 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,960 You should say the part of the Bible, 204 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,960 like "Matthew 8." Not just... SCOUSE: "The Bible." 205 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:33,960 That's a bit racist, that. 206 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,960 Christopher. Sorry! 207 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:40,960 I'll go get you both some juice. Give you more time to... you know. 208 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,960 CHRISTOPHER GROANS What are you doing here, then? 209 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,640 Is that Secret Millionaire show coming back for the posh kids? 210 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,960 Oh, well, if you must know, my mum died 211 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,960 and now I have to live here with my grandma. 212 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,960 Who calls them "grandma"? 213 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:02,160 "Ooh, Grandma, what big ears you have." 214 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,960 Nah, but yeah, lad, soz about your ma. 215 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,000 People always say they never think it'll happen to you, 216 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,960 but I think you do know it can happen to you. 217 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,960 But you can't live your whole life being worried. 218 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,640 Do you know what I mean? 219 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,480 You need to get out of this shitty room, lad. 220 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:21,960 I bet you haven't even been to Sweet Corner 221 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,960 and smashed in the pineapple and toffee cubes. 222 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,800 Are they a part of your five a day? 223 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:27,960 What do you watch on YouTube, lad? 224 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,960 Posh prick reacts to crushed avocado on toast? 225 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:31,960 What do you watch, huh? 226 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,640 Lazy chav reacts to lack of life opportunities? 227 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:38,960 BOTH STRAINING AND GRUNTING 228 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,960 Just put it in there, Chrissy! 229 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,960 Hey, Reece. 230 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,960 Lad... just seen this new caretaker outside, yeah? 231 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,960 And I know your ma says your da done a runner, 232 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,960 but he's got a massive snoz 233 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,480 and he walks like he's got a tiny cock. 234 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,960 You should ask him for a DNA test. LAUGHTER 235 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:02,960 Do you get it? 236 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,960 LAUGHTER 237 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,960 He's a knob, that little... 238 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,960 He's got too much tos-testerone. 239 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,960 That's why he's always kicking off, 240 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,320 and why he needs to have a wank seven times a day. 241 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,960 You what? 242 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,960 He has to wank seven times a day, just to function. 243 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,480 Seven? Swear. 244 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,960 And you know that gay lad in the sixth form, what's his name? 245 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,480 Thomas. He told me that Lewis was bragging 246 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:27,960 about Aimee giving him her knickers 247 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,960 because he needed them for his big lunchtime wank, 248 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,160 to get himself through the day. 249 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,640 HE GASPS 250 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,960 And there, lads, is the drop-off in action. 251 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,800 Oh, my God! 252 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:39,960 Eee! 253 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,960 Vile. The dirty bastard. 254 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,960 I mean, it's good he's having an open dialogue 255 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,960 about his sexual needs. 256 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,960 It's important we encourage the greater communication. 257 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,960 But at the same time, just stop wanking. 258 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,160 But that's why I like talking about me head being in your ma's arse. 259 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:55,960 I'm all about open dialogue. 260 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:56,960 Lad, I honestly don't think 261 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,960 your head's going anywhere near his ma's arse. 262 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,960 All right, well, I have a plan B. 263 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:01,960 Go 'ead. 264 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,800 If I can't bury it in her arse, I'll bury it in her tits. 265 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,960 LAUGHTER You're bad. 266 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,960 BEEP 267 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,960 BEEP 268 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,960 HE SIGHS 269 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,960 LAUGHTER FROM OUTSIDE 270 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,960 REECE: Bow! 271 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,960 Oh, my God. What's your pronouns, girl? 272 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:38,960 Oh, her pronouns are "as if", "no chance" and "not interested". 273 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,960 And we'll tell her yours - 274 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,960 "disgusting little perverted rat". 275 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,960 They're conjunctions and verbs, mate. 276 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,960 And you should respect that I identify 277 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,960 as a disgusting little perverted rat. 278 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,960 And the DLPR community strives for equality. 279 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:58,960 Eurgh! 280 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,000 Another tough one? Hmm. 281 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,960 Adam Costello's. Yeah, how'd you get that? 282 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,960 I'm good with people's eyes, girl. 283 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,000 And there's something about his that screams "vile racist". 284 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,960 Mm. 285 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,800 Must take you a while to, like, go back and find them. 286 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,960 Oh, yeah. I mean, this one was from when he was about 13. 287 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,640 I had to go back, like, three years. 288 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:35,960 Do you know what? It was worth it, though, 289 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:39,960 when I blackmailed him into getting me these. 290 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,960 LAUGHTER, TEXT ALERT 291 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,960 Oh, Chantal's sent a new dick pic in the group. 292 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,960 Let's see. I'm on form today with my guesses, me. 293 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,960 Eee, that looks like a traffic cone! 294 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,960 That's Lewis's. 295 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,960 The little rat! Aw, Aims. 296 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,960 I mean, maybe he could get it, like, flattened out or something? 297 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,960 Traffic-cone-cock cheating bastard. 298 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,960 So, yesterday's poetry homework. 299 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,960 Who wants to read theirs? 300 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,960 No. 301 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,960 Well, someone needs to reads theirs so I'm doing my job. 302 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,960 New boy. 303 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,480 Er, I didn't know we would read it out. 304 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,960 And I didn't know teaching would be so damn tiring. 305 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,960 Read. 306 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:34,320 MO IMITATES FART, LAUGHTER 307 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,960 The sky is full of faces now 308 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,960 Your face 309 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:44,960 Laughing, crying, scared... 310 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,960 ..happy. MUFFLED LAUGHTER 311 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,960 The face I love and miss the most... MUFFLED LAUGHTER 312 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,960 Is he starting to cry? 313 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,960 But how do I say... 314 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,960 I wanna read mine, sir. 315 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,800 Er... It's, er, it's called... 316 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:03,960 ..The Door. 317 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,960 The door 318 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,960 Let me in 319 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,960 Who's in there? 320 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,960 It's Brexit 321 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:18,320 Was I right? Was I wrong? 322 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,960 Am I now forgotten? 323 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:26,960 Brexit, Brexit, Universal Credit 324 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,960 Don't get angry, get evil. 325 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:31,960 Cheers. 326 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,960 Go 'ead, lad. Heavy poetry, that, you know. 327 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,960 OK, but where was the imagery and alliteration 328 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,960 that was the point of the task? 329 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,960 I don't know, sir. Brexit took them. LAUGHTER 330 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,800 AIMEE: Was that about your dog? 331 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,960 I lost my hamster, Angelica, last year. 332 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,960 Dark times. 333 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,480 He's a vile creature, anyway, that Mr Dunn. 334 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,320 He once made me read out my essay about my dreams, 335 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,960 and well, my dream is to be the first person from Merseyside 336 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,960 to win an Oscar since Glenda Jackson in 1973. 337 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,800 And I swear, he started laughing. 338 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,960 Well, remember that you're the captain of your soul. 339 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,960 You what? It's a quote from Nelson Mandela. 340 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,960 It means you're in the driver's seat of your life. 341 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:17,960 Don't listen to others. 342 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,960 Who's Nelson Mandela? 343 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,960 I'm only messing. I know who he is. 344 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,960 I know you probably came from some fancy school 345 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,640 with your whiteboards and that, 346 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,960 but we do get taught stuff at this school too, you know. 347 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:35,960 Is that Uncle Ben, the rice fella? 348 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,160 That's Nelson Mandela, the first South African President, 349 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,960 beacon of social justice and democracy. 350 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:42,960 Hey, they're my bird's. 351 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,800 He dismantled apartheid. 352 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:45,960 Not a clue. 353 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,960 Reece - toilet, now! I need your help. 354 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,960 The memories of our kiss come flooding back now, yeah? 355 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,960 Your foo-foo's hungry. I've got the "Reece-ipe". 356 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:55,960 LAUGHTER 357 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,800 Shut your gob, or I'll change my mind. 358 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,960 Go 'ead, Reece! Go and get her, lad! 359 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,960 Reece. 360 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:06,960 You went to Sweet Corner? 361 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,960 Boss, aren't they? Better than boss. 362 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,960 Life-changing. 363 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,960 In fact, you've changed my life. 364 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,480 I've been lonely here. 365 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,960 But you make me smile. 366 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,160 You give me hope. 367 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,800 Nobody's seen me since I've been here. 368 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:27,960 But you, Reece... you see me. 369 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,960 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you off your head? 370 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,960 But I thought the stuff in the bedroom was...? 371 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:38,000 LAUGHTER 372 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,960 Not bad, that, lad. Not bad. 373 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:52,960 Good, good. 374 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,960 OK. 375 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,960 HE GROANS 376 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,640 Ladies. 377 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,960 Are you looking for your mentor? 378 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,960 Reece Duffy? 379 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,960 The whole school heard it in the canteen. 380 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,480 Oh, yeah - stupid, isn't it? Him as my mentor? 381 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,960 No, no, I'm looking for a book, actually. 382 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,960 It's called, erm, Social Equality... 383 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,960 Social Equality: The Prospects Of Tomorrow by Florian Schuppert? 384 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,960 Yeah, that's the one, Schuppert. 385 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:36,960 Hm. 386 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,960 Sorry, it turns out Reece Duffy 387 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,960 actually took that book out yesterday. 388 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,960 Oh, damn it. 389 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,960 He's probably got the whole political sociology section on hold. 390 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,160 THEY LAUGH 391 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,000 I heard him and his cronies, saying things to you. 392 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,320 I mean, they're gonna have to grow up one day. 393 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,960